


we got everything we need right here (and everything we need is enough)

by strideofpride



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, accidental pregnancy au, brief mentions of body dysmorphia, chuck gets like two mentions sorry, small bits of serenate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29603448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strideofpride/pseuds/strideofpride
Summary: Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the embryo makes the whole thing feel real in a way it hadn’t up until then, Blair gripping his hand tight. She starts crying and she’s not really sure why. “Look, Humphrey, there’s our baby.”“You know, I am the father of your child. Maybe it’s time to start calling me Dan?”Or, Blair and Dan and an accidental pregnancy.
Relationships: Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf, background Nate Archibald/Serena van der Woodsen
Comments: 15
Kudos: 95





	we got everything we need right here (and everything we need is enough)

**Author's Note:**

> I was working on a much longer fic and took a one-day break when this popped into my head, almost fully formed. So, I figured I’d just get it all out. This technically goes AU somewhere in season 3, but it doesn’t really matter, just know that Milo and Blair’s miscarriage never happened. 
> 
> TW: for brief references to body dysmorphia and bulimia

It happens at Serena’s wedding.

Or rather, Serena’s _first_ wedding most likely, but Blair leaves that out of her maid of honor speech. It feels like their entire childhood was building to this, Serena getting married after spending only six weeks with a guy. Lily just about had a heart attack when Serena broke the news of an engagement two weeks in, but planning a lavish wedding was as good of a distraction as any for an Upper East Side socialite.

The rest of the Van der Humphrey clan has come as well, Jenny back from London, Eric back from upstate, even Chuck is there, although Blair refuses to look in his direction. Nate and Humphrey are there too, Nate sulking in the corner, Humphrey trying to cheer him up while also awkwardly trying to navigate the balance between being the bride’s ex-boyfriend and stepbrother.

Serena shares a dance with the groom, a bland, nondescript artist-type Blair never bothered to learn the name of, referring to him as “number one” in her head instead. While Blair watches them, wondering if she could get Eric to make a bet with her on how long they’ll last, Chuck approaches, making a crude comment about the wedding night. She sneers at him, a witty retort on the tip of her tongue, but then Humphrey pops up behind her.

He says something about a disaster with the cake and rushes Blair off to the kitchen. When they get there, she simply raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms, annoyed. “I can save myself from Chuck, you know,” she tells him.

He puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “Yeah, I know. Doesn’t mean you always should have to, though.” Looking back on it later, Blair realizes that was the moment that changed everything.

\---

They find an extra champagne bottle back there and get drunk sitting on the floor of the hotel kitchen, Humphrey with his sleeves rolled up and tie loosened, her with her shoes kicked off, sharing sips out of the same bottle.

They talk about nothing and they talk about everything, and Blair can’t remember the last time she felt this carefree. In hindsight, she was probably a little _too_ carefree.

They decide to split a cab home, but when they stop at Blair’s first, she shoots Humphrey a look and bites her lip, a wordless invitation in her eyes.

He kisses her right there in the cab and the two rush into her building, shedding clothes the second the door to her apartment closes.

\---

Blair wakes up the next morning with a hangover and a naked Dan Humphrey in her bed. She pokes him until he wakes up, reminding him that they have a post-wedding brunch that they are supposed to attend in an hour, _separately_ , and sends him on home to shower at his own place.

Later at brunch, he attempts to talk to her about the previous night, but Blair blows him off, telling him it was just a one-night thing, that she has no interest in Serena’s sloppy seconds. He looks hurt for a second and Blair worries she went too far, but then he sighs and agrees it’s probably for the best, the group is incestuous enough as it is.

And that’s that.

\---

Or it was supposed to be just that, until Blair realizes six weeks later that she never got her period.

She chalks it up to stress at first, under a lot of pressure and up for a big promotion at work. But then one morning she throws up, involuntary, and her breasts are tender, and Blair rushes off to get a pregnancy test on her lunch break.

Blair remembers taking one in high school, knowing it was too soon to have a kid with Nate, terrified at the prospect of Chuck as a father, and then all that worrying ending up being for nothing.

She does not have the same luck this time. All six drugstore tests she takes are positive and a blood test done by the doctor two days later confirms the same. Blair is pregnant. With Dan Humphrey’s baby.

\---

She does consider getting an abortion, of course. She even books an appointment and everything.

But on her way there, she spots a mother and daughter trying on dresses through the window at Bergdorf’s, and Blair feels herself begin to yearn. She did always expect to have kids one day down the line. It’s not like money is an issue. She’s in a stable enough place in her career to take a few months off work. And while her child may be half-Brooklynite, Blair can admit that Humphrey isn’t horrible looking; her child might actually turn out pretty cute.

So, Blair cancels her appointment and redirects the cab driver to Brooklyn instead.

Humphrey is surprised to see her but lets her in anyway, taking her coat, acting like a perfect gentleman. She tries to open her mouth and tell him, but her throat is too dry from nerves, and she chokes out a request for water instead, which Humphrey quickly honors.

He sits her down on the couch and sits on the coffee table in front of her, and it’s several more minutes before she’s finally able to blurt it out. “I’m pregnant.”

He blinks back at her in shock. “Wha – what did you say?”

“I’m pregnant and it’s yours.” He stays silent so Blair continues on. “I’m not here to hold you financially accountable or anything, obviously. I’m not here to force you to marry me. I’m not even here to force you to be a part of the kid’s life. I just wanted you to know, and that I’m keeping it. The rest is up to you.”

He swallows hard and rubs his hands on his thighs, as if he’s nervous. “Wow, that’s wow. But I want to be a part of the kid’s life. I know what it’s like to feel abandoned by a parent and I don’t ever want my own kid to feel that way. I wanna be there for every step of the way, every doctor’s appointment, every moment of their life…if that’s okay?”

Blair nods, a little relieved she won’t have to do it all alone. “That’s okay.”

\---

The first ultrasound is the most uncomfortable, in more ways than one.

Everyone assumes Humphrey is her husband, and the nurses all get awkward once they clarify that they’re actually just a one-night stand that didn’t use protection.

One particularly absent-minded nurse gives her a gown to change into while he’s still in the room, but luckily Humphrey is smart enough to leave without her having to say anything.

He comes back into the room right as the doctor is telling her she’s not far enough along to do an obstetric ultrasound, and they’ll have to do a transvaginal ultrasound instead. Blair blushes furiously and demands that Humphrey come stand by her head.

Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the embryo makes the whole thing feel real in a way it hadn’t up until then, Blair gripping his hand tight. She starts crying and she’s not really sure why. “Look, Humphrey, there’s our baby.”

“You know, I am the father of your child. Maybe it’s time to start calling me Dan?”

She ignores him, telling the technician how many copies of the ultrasound picture she’d like instead, but knows he’s right.

\---

As much as morning sickness sucked, Blair could’ve done with a little more time in the first trimester, if only to put off telling everybody for a little while longer.

She tells Dorota and her father first, saving the hardest for last. Her father is thrilled, if a little surprised, while Dorota simply raises an eyebrow when she hears who the father is. “Lonely Boy not so lonely anymore, is he?” Blair rolls her eyes.

Her mother on the other hand, is absolutely shocked, more so about the pregnancy than the choice of father, which bothers Blair for a reason she can’t quite put her finger on. She warns Blair about what this could do to her career, what this could do to her body, not voicing any thoughts Blair hasn’t already had herself time and time again.

Finally, Eleanor tires herself out with her ranting, and ends the phone call telling Blair while she thinks it’s too soon, she knows she’ll make a great mom.

Blair cries for an hour afterwards.

\---

Like her, Dan had wanted to tell his family alone, but Blair guesses it goes well based off the giant teddy bear Lily and Rufus have sent to her apartment.

They decide to tell Serena and Nate together, inviting them out to lunch. It’s awkward, Serena suspicious of why they want to see her together, Nate still pining after Serena.

When they break the news, Blair can tell they think they’re joking, that this was all some elaborate scheme on Blair’s part, but then Dan shows them the lock screen on his phone, that first ultrasound image, and Serena’s jaw drops while Nate chokes on his water.

“You’ve been a couple behind my back this whole time?” Serena asks, clearly hurt.

“No, no, no,” Dan assures her.

“It was just a _very_ irresponsible one-night stand,” Blair adds.

Serena doesn’t say anything else, but Nate smiles, clapping Dan on the shoulder. “Well, I think it’s great. Dibs on godfather.”

\---

With the second trimester comes a rush of hormones. Blair finds herself sexually frustrated in a way she hasn’t been since she was sixteen and Nate didn’t want to sleep with her.

She debates calling Dan, figuring he is the father, and they’ve already slept together once. But they’ve found such a good groove with this whole platonic-upcoming-parents thing that she doesn’t want to mess it up by bringing sex into it and complicating everything.

She gets herself off thinking about him instead, remembering how he had looked with his head between her legs, how he had felt inside her, how he touched her with such awe and respect.

Even though he’s not there, she still calls out his name when she comes.

\---

Blair feels the baby move for the first time while she’s at the movie theater with Dan, waiting for it to start, because her and Dan platonically go see movies together now.

She gasps and excitedly puts his hand on her stomach, but he can’t feel anything, reminding her that it will still be a few more weeks until the baby is big enough for him to feel.

“Someone’s been reading his parenting books,” she says, impressed.

He blushes and then they both realize his hand is still on her stomach, awkwardly separating.

Blair can’t bring herself to look over at him the entire movie.

\---

More and more baby gifts start to roll in, designer onesies from Jenny, a mobile from Eric, even Vanessa sends Blair a baby book, a handwritten note on the inside warning her that Dan is going to be the most obsessive father ever. Blair laughs and has her assistant send Vanessa flowers as a thank you.

It’s reaching the point where they need to start setting up a nursery, but neither one of them has wanted to broach the subject first.

Finally, while shopping for cribs, Dan asks if he should be getting a separate one for his apartment.

She thinks on it for a beat. “Or…maybe you can just move in with me? I have a spare bedroom.”

She expects him to protest, demanding they raise their kid in Brooklyn instead, but he just smiles. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

\---

Living with Dan is not as weird as she would’ve thought.

He cooks, he cleans, he never complains when she wakes him up to go on food runs to satisfy all the weird cravings she has.

He does take over the kitchen table though, making it his primary writing space. Blair asks him what he’s writing once, but he demurs, changing the subject quickly.

Serena finally warms up to the whole situation, bringing them both a giant plant as a housewarming gift, and a diaper genie as a baby gift.

She ends up staying through dinner and by the time she leaves, she’s committed to throwing Blair a baby shower. Blair’s nervous at the idea of what kind of baby shower Serena would throw her, but she’s insistent, so Blair reluctantly gives in.

Dan walks Serena to the elevator, and Blair overhears her telling Dan “I was skeptical at first, but you two work surprisingly well.”

“We’re not a couple,” Blair hears him respond.

“Well, not yet at least.”

\---

It takes longer than usual to find out the sex, the baby in an awkward position the first time they try.

Blair is beyond thrilled when they find out it’s a girl. For weeks she’s been telling people it doesn’t matter as long as the baby is healthy and happy, but that was a lie. She wanted this baby to be a girl more than she’s ever wanted anything.

She goes overboard afterwards, compiling a list of names that are mainly just Audrey Hepburn characters, buying every little girl dress she can get her hands on, choosing the softest pink paint she can possibly find for the nursery.

“You know,” Dan starts one day, “what if she’s a tomboy?”

Blair shoots him a glare, but then thinks of her mother, and how she’s forced her own ideals and taste on Blair since the day she was born, and relents, letting Dan go with a pretty green paint for the walls instead.

\---

Blair starts to feel insecure when she hits the third trimester.

She had handled the changes to her body well up to this point, but it hadn’t been that bad really, just the swelling of her stomach, and also her breasts. That one she really didn’t mind and if she got a thrill out of the way Dan had looked at her whenever she wore something low cut, well that was really no one’s business but her own.

But once she hits twenty-eight weeks, everything starts to swell, her feet, her hands, her face, her ass. She feels like a whale.

She breaks down into tears one evening over it, after a failed attempt to button up an already loose pajama shirt.

Dan comes in to find her sitting on the floor, in a half-buttoned pajama shirt, belly sticking out, the maternity slacks she wore to work half on. He sits and wraps his arm around her, wiping her tears away with the other hand.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asks softly.

“I’m fat!” Blair wails back.

“You’re not fat, you’re pregnant.” He looks at her seriously. “And even if you were fat, it wouldn’t matter. You’d still be one of the most beautiful women in the whole world.”

“You really think so?” she asks through sniffles.

“I know so.” Blair kisses him then, a hard kiss, teeth clashing and everything. He kisses back eagerly, as if he’s been waiting for this. Maybe she has been too.

It’s a little tricky at first, struggling to find a position that works for Blair, but they get there, and Dan ends up making her come three times that night.

Afterwards, Dan looks at her in a way that she has no other word to describe but fuckstruck. She’s never felt more beautiful.

\---

Blair goes into labor at her own baby shower, like some sort of cliché straight out of a bad movie.

They rush to the hospital, getting there in fifteen minutes flat, but it ends up being for naught, Blair’s labor painfully slow. Dan fills the time by letting Blair read what he’s been working on.

After she finishes, Blair looks up at him, struggling not to cry, solely cause of the hormones, certainly no other reason she tells herself. “Dan Humphrey, have you been pining after me this whole time?”

Dan shrugs shyly. “Since the night of Serena’s wedding, yeah.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, you made it pretty clear it was a one-night thing. And then you were pregnant, and I didn’t want to make it any more complicated than it was already…”

Blair grabs his hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m glad it was you. I mean, an accidental pregnancy might’ve not been the most ideal situation…but I’m really, really glad that I got to go through it all with you.”

\---

Six hours later, Blair finally gives birth to her baby girl, seven pounds, one ounce, ten fingers, ten toes, absolutely perfect in every way.

Their whole families come by to see the baby, but eventually everyone clears out, leaving only Nate and Serena behind, newly together after Serena separated from “number one”.

“Elizabeth Audrey Waldorf-Humphrey. What a mouthful,” Nate complains.

“I like it,” says Serena. “Name fit for a queen.”

“Exactly, S, you get it.”

“God, it’s so surreal that you guys are actually parents. What are you going to do now?” Nate asks.

“I don’t know,” Dan says, smiling over at her. “But I know we’ll figure it out. _Together_.”

**Author's Note:**

> Always use protection kids!


End file.
